Things I Want To Happen (Smash Brothers Edition Vol. I)

Paper Mario

Well, I’ve been pretty much against the inclusion of more Mario characters since they already dominate so much of the selectable characters (especially if you include Yoshi, Wario and Donkey Kong characters), but Paper Mario’s just too cool not to have, and his potential moveset, equally awesome.  For Smash Attacks I figure he could probably use his trusty wooden mallet. His B-Up could have him rising quickly to the air and folding into a paper airplane, at which point he could totally glide around. His Down-B could have him rolling into a tube and moving around the stage causing mild chaos. His Side-B could be him utilizing one of his many partners at random for various effects. And his neutral-B would be ….um… something awesome and papery. When he’s in the water he could be a folded up boat, and his sidestep could be him momentarily turning sideways (and thus invisible) as he could do in Super Paper Mario. Also borrowing from Super Paper Mario would probably be a Final Smash in which he turns into a giant pixellized Mario. And wreaks havoc.

King Boo

Of all my character ideas, this is probably the most self-indulgent. King Boo probably doesn’t deserve to be here, but I love Luigi’s Mansion too much.  I’ve actually had the idea for this character ever since clone characters first started cropping up in Melee. King Boo’s moveset would be (as anyone who’s beaten Luigi’s Mansion can probably guess) very similar to Bowser’s, although he would control a lot lighter and… floatier… King Boo would kind of be to Bowser what Luigi is to Mario.  His fireballs would be different though…. In that they’d actually be fireballs, as opposed to just plain breath. Also, I’d turn his Side-B into a move where he throws bouncy spiky balls along the stage.  To differentiate him from the normal Bowser he would appear more colorful and cartoony, closer to how Bowser normally looks in Mario games.  His Final Smash would involve King Boo coming out the suit and …I don’t know, doing something or other. Maybe summoning a swarm of boos, or other Luigi’s Mansion style ghosts or something. It’d be awesome. I swear.

King K.Rool

This one’s a no-brainer and his lack of inclusion in Brawl is strange. My main issue with K.Rool though, is that I would prefer he appear as Kaptain K.Rool, not only because I think he looks cooler, but because he could have so much more of an interesting set of moves.  Unfortunately, the classic cape and crown is much more iconic and would have to be how he appeared in the game. I suppose he could throw his crown around and jump like Dedede’s Up-B, but other than that it seems like his moveset would have to be mostly invented from scratch.  However, if it was Kaptain K.Rool who appeared he could shoot bouncing balls out of his musket, as well as strange energy that could paralyze people briefly (like Zero Suit Samus’ Paralyzer).  He could also use the musket to propel himself forward (or maybe even up as his Up-B recovery?).  For his Final Smash maybe he could turn into King Krusha K. Rool (from Donkey Kong 64) complete with boxing togs and all, and like punch someone really hard. But for real, the Kaptain would work way better… and just look cooler.

Kaptain K.Rool = Awesome Sauce

Mona

While driving around delivering pizzas one day, and coincidentally listening to the song “Mona Pizza” from Brawl it started to dawn on me that Mona not only could be in Smash Brothers, but must be in Smash Brothers. Here’s my thinking: The girls in Brawl right now are Princess Zelda and Princess Peach. Also, Samus, but she might as well be a guy (except when she takes her suit off and she is smokin’ hot). But anyways, what I’m getting at is that both characters are pretty frilly and girly (although Zelda can be a BAD-ASS every now and then). So, just from that standpoint I contend that there should be more ladies in Smash Bros. who could represent a different kind of …lady.  Sure, Mona’s still girly and cute, but she’s also a lot quirkier and considerably more down-to-earth.  Her moveset could reflect that. She could have some sort of pizza delivery related attack, as well as a pom-pom based punch.  The moped, if not incorporated in the moveset, could at least be represented through her intro on screen.  Her pet monkey could do something too, possibly a recovery move.  As for her Final Smash? Well, I’m sure someone could think of something.

Ridley

Well, I’m certainly all for the idea of Metroid having more representation in the series, but I honestly have no idea how Ridley could work as a fighter. He’s just too big.Apparently, everyone else on the internet knows how it would work so I’ll trust that the game designers could figure something out too.

Starfy

Well, damn it all if I don’t really know how this one would work either. But this time it’s only due to the fact that I’ve never played a Starfy game (although I do totally own the third one).  So, while I may not know why Starfy belongs in Smash Brothers, I know that he does and for that reason he’s on this list.

Stay tuned, because part II is on the way... and it's gonna be coooool.

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